Welcome to my exhilarating blog about… well I’m not sure really.
I basically wanted to start a blog in order to document just some things I’ve been thinking about, things I’ve been doing, maybe some recipes or cooking pictures, products and clothes I like and just a place for me to let out all my opinions and thoughts on life somewhere, that I can access anywhere. A kind of diary really, although I’ve always been useless at diaries and so I probably won’t post regularly, nor will I talk about waking up, doing nothing and then returning to bed! (I’ll only post when I’ve actually got something to say)
So I did actually plan on starting this blog a while back, but hey I’m starting it now, and hopefully I’ll keep it up.
I’m currently writing this post, purely because I’m revising for my exam tomorrow and I’m quite frankly losing my mind to be honest! I’ve just returned for the second term of my first year at university and I’m struggling to put it straight.
I found the first term incredibly difficult, because I’m a very ‘homey’, family&friend-orientated person and so have struggled extensively with homesickness, and I felt basically that everyone around me, and everything my friends were telling me about their lives at uni and my family telling me about their past experiences of uni were amazing, and I came to uni thinking ‘Yes, this is where I’m going to become myself and I’m going to make loads of amazing friends, have so much fun, it will be easier than A-levels’…
Yeh, so that didn’t quite work out how I expected, and usually I’m not one to be hung up on expectations (so that when its not how I expected I’m not disappointed) but this time, it was all about my expectations and then I got to uni and I’ve never felt so lonely in my life!
I’m making it out to be complete hell. It isn’t. I’m just over cranky and frustrated about these exams anyway that I’m really babbling on about this, because I think all my family and friends are pretty tired of me burdening them with it anyway, so it’s good to get it out of my system somewhere. I mean I’ve met some really lovely people and I know that best friendships aren’t built in 3 months, and that most of the time people you meet in your first few months, you’ll probably never speak to again, but I do keep wondering whether this is for me or not.
I’m studying Biology, which I loved at A-level and was my best subject, so it makes sense that I’m studying it. However, I am really only at uni for the experience, the opportunities, to ‘have a degree’ and really to delay working for another 3 years (although now I’m dying for a job just to earn some money), and so I feel that maybe it’s too much of a demanding course for me and I don’t really wake up in the morning thinking ‘Yes this is what I want to do’. Then again, my dilemma is that I don’t really have any passion or hobbies so there’s really nothing else I would be doing if I wasn’t here at uni!?
Wow that was quite a babble!
I’m really just hoping it will all start to get better soon, and that if I just stick it out for the first year, everything will all be ok!